We are not meant to be victims. Things happen to us...and we get time to grieve, to rebuild and finally to MOVE ON. For some reason a lot of us get stuck on the grieving part for a REALLY long time. So long, that we never actually get to the rebuilding and moving on phases.
There came a time where I had to realize that I was no longer a victim, but instead I was using my "victimness" for my own convenience , as a crutch or as an excuse to not perform to my highest potential. I didn't realize it then, but my unwillingness to move on was stifling my ability to be better.
I was angry , I was hurt . I wanted that person to really understand what they had done ...how it broke me down ...and I wanted them to feel what I felt and make it better. So, whenever I had the chance , instead of using my energy to rebuild myself , I used it to throw what they'd done in their face . One day I looked around me, or rather within me, and I realized it was getting me nowhere. Years had drifted by..yet there I was...in the exact same place...in the same circumstances ...feeling the exact same way. No progress. No power. No nothing.
Here's the thing : when you're a victim, you don't have to be responsible for your actions or inactions because you've given that power to someone else. A lot of us take that powerlessness and run with it. Whatever we do wrong , or not good enough , we blame on that one thing/person. Instead of taking responsibility for ourselves, we play the victim card. On the surface ..that's the easy route. But for as long as you assume the victim role, they have your power , and you remain powerless. Owning what you do/ don't do whether you succeed or fail is powerfull.
I took back my power the moment I was honest enough with myself to call out my own bullshit. I was a victim , because I wanted to be. I was in a situation that put me there , because I chose to be. And now, I was moving on because I decided I was done being stagnant.
Understanding that whatever "they" did to you is NOT your fault no more than it is your problem is crucial. For as long as you choose to carry that weight that they gave you to carry, you will never start doing the work on yourself that truly needs to be done. Let it go. As hard as it may seem...LET.IT.GO.
Decide now that you are not a victim...that no one but you is responsible for the decisions that you make. Acknowledge what you've done right just as much as you acknowledge what you've done wrong. Take responsibility for the situations you've put yourself in/ remained in. Forgive yourself and love yourself anyway. We are not meant to be victims. We are powerful.
All Love, All Ways